Save 94% on these PC air dusters that are pretending they used to be $600 and 'SAY GOODBYE TO AIR CAN'

In the essay 'Politics and the English Language' George Orwell memorably described the purpose of political speech as being «to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind». Such thoughts came to mind as I embarked on a Prime Day search for an air duster, having reluctantly concluded that my Razer Blade could probably do without all of those crumbs and dust wedged under the keys.

One deal immediately stood out as special: indeed, you could call it a discount for the ages. Step forward the mighty TRANSWARRIOR, a company that offers a compressed air duster for PC cleaning at an unbelievable 94% discount. Which I mean in the sense that, if you believe this thing ever sold for just shy of $600, I have a bridge for sale you may be interested in.

The product name is in that Amazon listing style of an unholy conglomeration of the words «compressed», «air», «duster», and various PC references. So I'm just going to call it a compressed air duster: behold!

Compressed air duster| 100000RPM | $599.99 $34.99 (save $565)
Wow! It's time for dust to go the way of the Dodo and not just when it comes to your PC: this thing will blow air on anything, and there's even a helpful list in the product description. «Plant, car, pet hair, fans, lily windows, swimming rings, yoga balls, steamboats, air mattresses, etc.» It does it all! The jet fan boasts five nozzle attachments, three brushes, and comes complete with LED lighting for darker spots. And most important of all: «you will never need to buy canned air ever again.» Take that to the bank, along with your apparent $565 saving.

Is that the best we can do? Hell no baby, because what's better than a 100000RPM air duster? A 180000RPM air duster with extra neon elements photoshopped onto the image at 93% off!

Compressed air duster Mk. 2| 180000RPM | $599.99$44.99 (save $555)
Basically the same as the last one, except for the extra ten bucks you get all the above but with an eyebrow-fluffing 180000RPM of pure air power. Wield the winds like